I went on the worst blind date of my life. Actually, it was the first blind date of my life… and will be my last.

He was an ugly, Jewish cross between Michael Imperioli and Michael Rappaport. He was crass. He was too loud, and cut me off mid-sentence with an inappropriate comment. He drank Absolut Citron and soda. He laughed at his own jokes when no one else did and lightly pressed his hand against my leg. He told me about taking his clients to strip clubs to really develop a trust — which I found odd, as he works in book publishing.

I left after an hour wanting to throw up and cry at the same time. It was pouring, and I couldn’t get a cab. I got home soaking wet, cold, and miserable. No more strip club stories. No more hand on my leg. No more blind dates.


4 responses to “Blindsided

  1. How did this guy manage a date with you? Blind dates are such a bad idea. If everyone had at least a good personality and was attractive then, then the chance of success would eek into the double digits.

    There needs to be a picture, a proof of life.

  2. He sounds horrid. We should swap Horrible Blind Date stories sometime.

  3. Was this an internet date or a blind date setup by someone you know?

  4. A yenta-like mutual friend.

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