Concussing

This is the worst headache I’ve had in years. I took three aspirin. I drank a glass of water. I had sex. I downed three shots of vodka, followed by a handful of olives. I ate fried chicken. I had champagne, red wine, and single malt scotch. Nothing is working.

I hit my head Thursday night. I wasn’t drunk. I just got to the bar, put my bag down, and bashed my head on a sharp, dark corner. Then I drank for about seven hours. I was late to work, had some coffee, and went back out drinking. I danced and lost four games of beer pong and pased out at eleven.

I woke up still hurting. My head feels like it’s in a vice. I can barely breathe, I can barely make eye contact without grimacing.

I probably have a concussion. Nothing is working. Suggestions welcome.