Concussing

xrayThis is the worst headache I’ve had in years. I took three aspirin. I drank a glass of water. I had sex. I downed three shots of vodka, followed by a handful of olives. I ate fried chicken. I had champagne, red wine, and single malt scotch. Nothing is working.

I hit my head Thursday night. I wasn’t drunk. I just got to the bar, put my bag down, and bashed my head on a sharp, dark corner. Then I drank for about seven hours. I was late to work, had some coffee, and went back out drinking. I danced and lost four games of beer pong and pased out at eleven.

I woke up still hurting. My head feels like it’s in a vice. I can barely breathe, I can barely make eye contact without grimacing.

I probably have a concussion. Nothing is working. Suggestions welcome.

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2 responses to “Concussing

  1. See a doctor asap. Haven’t you ever watched CSI?? The episode I saw last night, some girl DIED because she got smacked upside the head with a video camera. Serious business. Take off work and get thee to an ER.

  2. How do you get sex on such short notice?

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