Things You Should Know About Me

A few weeks ago I was out with coworkers, mostly random ones I had never met, but it was alright. We were all drunk at that point, bombed off of an endless beer tap and bowling gutter balls. I ended up at a table with a few colleagues, and decided to break the mostly silent chugging session.

“Alright. What kind of milk do you drink? How are old you? When you drink too much, do you puke that night or the next morning?”

Everyone laughed and eventually answered. It started off a big debate on milk (we found skim-drinkers deplorable) and vomiting.

So — here’s me.

  • I’m a recent 1% convert. Truth be told, I was raised on 2%, but when I was in England they only sold three types: whole, skim and semi-skim. Semi-skim was about 1.5%, which I begrudgingly used in my cereal. Now I find myself thinking 2% is a bit too thick, so I’ve gone down to 1% and treat 2% as a delicious treat. If I had my way, I would go on drinking 1.5%. That’s my absolute favorite. If you find any in Manhattan, let me know. Or even better — bring me a carton.
  • I’m 23.
  • I throw up that night. Usually in the toilet. Once in the back of a cab. Once on my friend Michelle’s friend’s shoes. That was the same night as the cab.
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