Settle an Argument

To settle, or not to settle: that is the question.

Like every well-read single girl browsing the internet this week, I came across this article in the Atlantic called “Marry Him!” In this meaty treasure trove of quotes, the writer, a single mom in her forties, bestows upon her female audience a shocking piece of advice that sounds something like this: Settle. Settle now. Settle down with a man now before it’s too late and you’re old and alone and all by yourself and no one will ever want you no matter what ever.

Really. Seriously. And she launches into a mea culpa, blaming herself for refusing to marry a man that wasn’t perfect for her.

As awful as I felt reading this article, and as much as my roommate and I debated the certain shock-value the author was seeking when she extolled upon the virtues of settling, I found myself agreeing with much of her argument: “What I long for in a marriage is that sense of having a partner in crime. Someone who knows your day-to-day trivia. Someone who both calls you on your bullshit and puts up with your quirks.”

Yes — absolutely! Because that isn’t settling. Having someone on your team, a best friend, a confidante, is as far from settling as you can get. And if the sex is hot you’ve hit nirvana.

But lucky news: Apparently we have until we hit the big 3-5 to keep being our picky choosy selves. So welcome to my world, ladies. Here’s some hard and fast advice from me, the girl who won’t settle, to you.

  • If the guy isn’t well-read? Dump him.
  • He’s closet vegetarian? Don’t call him back.
  • Constantly late? Ditch him at the bar.
  • Wants to have butt sex? Delete him

Maybe when I’m 40 I’ll be kicking myself and drowning my regrets in sperm banks. But hopefully I’ll also have the time to be published in the Atlantic. And that, my friends, would not be settling at all.

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2 responses to “Settle an Argument

  1. My blogroll is full of women who “settled” . . . ask them how that’s working out.

    I saw this woman on Today. IMHO she’s at least half full of shite.

  2. Well, I guess that means I have another three – wait, 2.5 years – to settle. Oh boy. I can’t wait. I couldn’t even make it through her entire piece – my stomach started hurting and I got a headache. Really? I mean really? Is she serious?

    “Anything is better than nothing”? How romantic. I’m sure that’s just what the guy you marry longs to hear.

    My dealbreakers: cheating after we’ve decided we’re monogamous, being a drunk, not owning any books, pushing for threesomes two weeks into the relationship, and having the mentality of a 14 yr old.

    No, I’m not bitter. Not at all. Why do you ask?

    Just ran across your blog today, btw. Nice work. Can I add you to my blogroll?

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