My coworker had a successful date last night.
“The stars were aligned,” he explains, “and we are really perfect for each other. People kept saying we should date, and when we finally met, it made a lot of sense.”
“So,” I smile, “Where is it going to go?”
“Well, see, it’s perfect because I don’t want to be in a relationship and she gets that. So I see her maybe every two weeks, and we have a great time. Like I said, I really adore her. I guess we’ve been dating for a while … maybe since September.”
This struck me as so odd. How can you truly think someone is perfect — star aligningly so — and only see them every other week? What calm intervals for perfection.
After some back and forth I cross my arms and sigh. I disagree with his assessment of his feelings for her to the core. In the last year that I have been single, I have been on myriad dates and in far too many pseudo relationships. These guys are all great, sure, or else I wouldn’t be seeing them in the first place. And, no, I don’t want to be in a relationship right now.
But let me be honest, and the following cliche may put you off, as you read it on this somewhat jaded blog:
Love is not convenient.
There. I said it. Tar and feather me and throw me off the internet for good. Take me off of your RSS reader. Chastise me in the comments. I don’t care. I have been in love: reckless, damaging, life-altering, painful love. It does not occur seven months in to dating someone three times a month. It does not occur when you are ready, in your head, for that love.
Love does not approach when you are ready. It sneaks up behind you in a dark, back alley and holds you up at knife point. It comes on suddenly, tip-toeing, following you from the subway and running off with your wallet.
You do not plan for love. Love ruins plans. Love ruins surprises parties. Love collides into your car at an intersection when you have the right of way.
Believe me or not, able minded coworker. The stars one truly align one day. And then you’ll be fucked, and I’ll be there to say I told you so.