Wants and Needs

Now I’m sober. Let’s clarify, shall we?

If I were to be totally honest, I would spell out all of my desires. But I won’t. I have, in the past, but I won’t. It is a recipe for disaster.

There is no way I can have everything I want. The world is not a genie in a bottle. I can not rub the world. The world will not grant Subway Philosophy unlimited wishes.

Why write down a list I can never complete? It’s like running a race I can’t physically finish. I can’t admit what I want anymore. All of that honesty adds up to failure.

It’s not just me. It is why we bundle up our secrets and unrequited love. It is the very nature of wishes and dreams. It is not what we say, it is what remains in the spaces between our words and our silence.

The Truth Will Out

I’m making stupid decisions left and right. I can’t stop. I keep saying things I feel outloud. I don’t do that. I mean, I do, so much, that people think I just say everything I feel the moment I feel it. That is not true. The more I say, the more I keep quiet. The more I say, the more I push back into little secretive recesses in my mind. More talk, more silence. More noise, more lies. Filling those gaps creates honesty. Honesty creates failure. And I don’t like to fail.