Puppy Shove

Elizabeth: i might get a puppy
Me: you hate puppies.
Elizabeth: only the ones i don’t have

Excerpt From a Feckless Work-Day Email

“And yes, violently resolute naysayers on either side of the theological fence are as intellectually useless as a tone-deaf kazoo player.  Everything is alright on my end. Turned down some plans tonight to wait for my groceries and do laundry. I’m so exciting. I’m like a modern-day Jessie Spanno for the aughts. And, what else… I’m loading up the interns with blog research and ice coffee making. And I keep vacillating between unbearably hot and teeth-clattering cold. I am less convinced it is the mono and more convinced that the weather and the air conditioning are conspiring against me. They’ll never take me down without a fight.”

Editor’s Note: I don’t have mono.